In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Sober January is a disaster.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
