I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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