Why are handjobs necessary in class?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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