it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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