Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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