A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
