Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
