i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
