That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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