this just has baby written all over it
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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