oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
