I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
