Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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