Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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