Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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