i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
