I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Two words: nipple clamps
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