you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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