U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize