I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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