i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
