I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
