so let's talk penis.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
