I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
