how hairy? two words: wookie tits
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
