We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I can't turn off my feet"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
