I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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