One girl and one boy is just not enough.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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