it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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