Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
