Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
