Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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