Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
