I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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