Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize