My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You work out of a Hotel?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
