I wish I only lived at night.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
