Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
