I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
