All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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