Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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