you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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