Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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