You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
