im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize