Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
