a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
