please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
