She announced her abortion via fbk
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
