State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize