Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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