hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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