"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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