Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
