my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
