I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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