grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
